Afraid - 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writing

I’m afraid I won’t remember it all.

“Help, Mama.” As soon as I say the words cook, kitchen, or bake, Charlotte says, “Help, Mama.” She runs to the kitchen and pushes her small, wooden chair next to the counter. She stands up next to me ready to help. Sometimes mixing. Sometimes pouring. Sometimes taking the spices and sauces out of my hands. Sometimes flipping through the cookbook. Sometimes taking out pots and pans. She’s my kitchen helper.

I’m afraid I won’t remember it all.

I never pictured myself as one to spend my days in the kitchen. I don’t have vivid memories of cooking while growing up. My memories of food center around going out to eat. Dressing up to go out to eat for holidays. Trying new restaurants. Fast food runs before band practice. Now I find myself in the kitchen; I’m just as surprised as anyone. When I’m in the kitchen, Charlotte is there, too. Some mornings she wakes up saying, “oatmeal.” She’ll get out of bed, run to the kitchen, and get the pot out for the stovetop. She holds a wooden spoon ready to mix at any moment. I hear, “I do,” over and over. She throws veggies in the pan as I ready them to saute. She loves to mix. “This, this,” her current word for asking if she can put the next ingredient in the bowl. She grabs a plastic knife and cuts her own onion.

I’m afraid I won’t remember it all.

She doesn't’ say many words right now but it’s clear through her smiles and exclamations that she loves being in the kitchen. I talk her through the recipe. I tell her what I’m doing. I tell her what’s hot and cold. I tell her some things are only for me to do.

I don’t want to forget these days. The tiny moments preparing food for my family with my daughter. The simple and beautiful joy she exudes. The nourishment of our bodies and spirits. Using real ingredients and feeling the food with our hands and tasting the flavors fresh out of the oven.

I hope she remembers being in the kitchen. The laughter we share. The joy. The tastes. The music. The smells. I hope it’s a foretaste of more feasts to come.

I’m afraid I won’t remember it all.

So we’ll keep cooking. Together.

**All month I'll be participating in 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes. Each day I'll take some time (sometimes 5 minutes and sometimes a little more) to sit down and write. It's about the discipline of writing each day. It's about listening to the words from within. It's about letting creativity work in me. I'll share my writing at some point during the day on my blog. Thanks for reading.